How I Deal
by YouSeeStrangerThings
Summary: So i'm in love with Sirius black. I deal with my stress by making people laugh and making a complete idiot of myself. So here i am in my seventh year and repeatedly find myself in stressful situations involving Sirius black. SB/OC Most likely better
1. Chapter 1

**So I'm attempting my first one shot but my mind over elaborates on everything so I'm not sure how this will go down.**

**DISCLAIMER**

**Changed my mind it is so not a one shot. Much more elaborate and it is not just cuz I decided I would be in it.**

**Courtney**

I love Hogwarts. I love the sky there. I love the ground there. I loved the classes there. I loved the magic there. But most of all, the thing I absolutely LOVE is Sirius Black. I sigh dreamily on the train sitting next to Alice Parker, Lily Evans, and my support system, Quicksilver (her real name's Silver but she was threatening) Mercury (funny huh? Silver Mercury?). She looks at me knowingly. I ignore her do to the fact that now instead of daydreaming I'm worrying.

Now don't get me wrong I know I'm not fat, but I'm not the skinniest witch out there. My motto is go for the average sized witch, she'll know how to cook and she'll always taste good. But OBVIOUSLY, no guy thinks like that. The only bug parts on a girl are either up or down not in between. Time for my pathetic sigh now. Sirius always goes for the skinny girls. Sigh. Oh no tears. Stupid traitor tears. Great the doors opening. Deep breath now.

Oh.

My.

God.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter just walked in. I never did get why they hung out with Peter. He always seemed a little weird, and not in the good way. Remus was nice, I kind of accidentally figured out he was a werewolf with Lily a few years back. We told him, and he got somewhat upset that we wouldn't treat him the same. We told him that we had been treating him the same for the passed two months and we had known then. He was at a loss for words. It was definitely a first. Ah James. Poor fellow, so infatuated with Lily he hasn't even realized he's in love. He needs to grow some balls that kid does. That way he can actually have children one day. I snorted. A smidge too loud. All eyes were on me. Oops. "What's so funny?" Lily asked.

I smiled like I do when I wasn't thinking clean, which leads me to another saying I made. A girl with a dirty mind has oily hair. It's a shame really, about my hair that is. She knew I wasn't thinking nicely as she says. "Never mind," James automatically wanted to know.

"What? Anything that has her backtracking is always good to know."

"James you don't want to know. She's thinking about inappropriate things. I can't tell." I gave her my innocent smile.

Sirius thought my way too. So he was next to question, "What is it?"

"Well I was just think- Wait a sec." I turned to Lily. "Did you just call him James?" Everyone looked at her as she blushed. "Oh my god! My thoughts tell the future. Oh my god. I have become," I paused for dramatic effect. "A SEER! DUN DUN DUN. Future seeing person over here. Future seeing person over there. Future seeing person sees stuff everywhere." I sang to my little tune and danced. Silver fell to the floor with laughter. "What you don't think I can see," I changed my voice to a far away- ish one. "the future? I shall have you know I have been studying very hard for this. Sleeping during that class is no easy deed. Those tables are so hard. Especially when you hit my elbow and crash me face first into one." She cracked up again. This is how I handle my stress. With Sirius in the compartment, I need to handle it badly. I made people laugh and made a complete arse of myself when I stress. Lily knew this. She pursed her lips trying not to laugh. But I twirled to face her.

She always though ballet was a good laugh. I started twirling slowly with my hand over my head singing loudly, "I'm a ballerina. I'm a ballerina. Watch me twirl. Watch me twirl." She was trying to hard and ended up with and unfeminine snort which landed her on the floor as well. The boys were watching in fascination as I made all my friends practically die from laughter. Still humming I sprung onto Alice. Literally. Still humming a thought of her weakness. I smiled evilly. She knew. I had once made her endure the watching of The Sound of Music. She found it absolutely hilarious. So I actually sung, and I mean my actual decent voice, "These are a few of my favorite things. When the dogs bite. When the bees sting." She collapsed too. I stood at my full height of 5'8" and declared my victory. "Hmm, seems we have some crazy people with us here. I think it will take, let me think. Ah, I've got it." I quickly change Lily's hair strawberry blonde, which she hated. I then turned to silver and gave her ballerina slippers and a tutu. Then to Alice. I gave her a t-shirt say S.o.M best movie in the world and some a nice skirt. They all stopped at once.

"What the hell did you do to my hair?"

"This awful meshy thing itches."

"What the hell is S.o.M"

"Okay so answers. Turned it strawberry blonde, your fav shade. Then take it off. And it stands for Sound of Music, stupid." James was staring at me amused. Remus was trying to hold back laughter as he saw his crush in a tutu. Sirius was staring at me with awe. I stared him down, my other defense mechanism. "What?"

"How did you do that?"

"What? Prank them? You guys do it all the time and that my friend is why I never take anything you do to seriously." He was still staring except this time more disbelieving. "What, I'm serious?"

"Well actually, I am."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Haha. I am in a fit of giggles and laughter. I can barely contain myself," I said with a bored voice.

"Sorry to break this lovely prankster get together. But could you perhaps fix my hair. James stop you're making it turn pink." I smiled at her and with a flick of my wand, it was shocking red again. "Thank you."

"A-hem." I turned my head to quickly getting a very painful crick.

"Ahh!" I quickly faced forward and bent over letting the blood rush to my head **(this actually works for me. I had to do it a minute ago.)** I heard four 'is she all right's and three 'yeah she does this often' Silver then proceeded to explain.

"She gets these awful cricks way to easily. One wrong move and she's down. She finds blood to her already crazy head helps it go away faster. But the th-"

"The thing is they just never stay away," I finished for her. "Don't talk about me like I'm not in the same radius of five feet from you. You might get a permanent sticking charm with that oh so lovely frilly tutu." I smirked. I turned to Alice. She had taken her shirt off. "Really Alice. I expected better from you. Stripping in front of innocent boys who haven't seen passed what they sneak a look at. And on top of all of that, you have a boyfriend. Tisk tisk. Shame on you. Now either put that brilliant shirt back on for me to fix or stand up and shake your attributes for these innocent gentlemen." Behind me, I heard James whisper.

"She does have a dirty mind." I rolled my eyes and Sirius was all of a sudden in front of me.

"You know I don't have to sneak I peak. The ladies just throw themselves at me."

"Well as sure as I'm glad for you I would rather not be in the same predicament. It would be rather strange to endure. Now I need to fix Alice's shirt. So move or be moved." He planted his feet on the ground and smirked. I returned the favor. Quickly tilting my wand upwards, I whispered _Stupefy_. He fell backwards toward the ground. I stepped on his 'items' ever so lightly. Well actually quite hard, muttering a quiet oops above the snickering. And I finally changed back Alice's shirt.

I sat back down looking over Sirius' body. Starting from his face working way down. I sighed heavily before clearly pointing my wand at his chest and saying, "Enervate." He jerked slightly and stood up. He gasped in pain and doubled over clutching his manly area.

He finally managed to get up. He walked out the door while saying "You will pay."

**Okay so originally I was going to wait to post this until the whole story was done but I changed my mind cuz it was just to brilliant.**

**Courtney**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oooh you guys are so lucky I decided to write all of this before I post it. But im still going to make you wait for chapter. Y'know for suspense.**

**I do not own any characters except for Quicksilver and Courtney.**

You know what the whole thing is going to be in my point of view

So apparently, I'm paying for something. I don't know when, but I do know why. I may have accidentally *cough-purposefully-cough* stepped on Sirius' parts. Now my two options are apologize or wait for my punishment… I'm going to wait. I've never been good with apologies. So here, I am now waiting for Dumbledore to finish his speech so I can eat something. Y'know I've always wondered how guys can eat so much and still be skinny. I mean I don't eat that much, I play Quidditch, and I walk around Hogwarts campus and I'm still too big in the gut. Something must be seriously wrong with me.

Ahh, Sirius. He's the one issuing my punishment. Oh, look food. That means Dumbledore's finished. I quickly look around and see Lily and Quicksilver talking about charms and Alice talking to Remus. Whoa, rewind!

Why are we sitting next to the Marauders? "Yo, Silver?" She looked at me. "Why are we sitting next to the Marauders?"

"Wow. Y'know you get really spacey when you don't think."

"Hence why they call it spacey."

"Right but what if they called it emptiheadedness?"

"That isn't even a word."

"I made it one."

"You can't just make a word. And I am not empty headed. I just turn my brain off every now and then. It's good for the soul **(A/N I say that a lot the good for your soul thing)**."

"I have no soul."

"That explains so much." She scoffed and turned away now I was left with no one to talk to. James was flirting with Lily, Alice was trying to get Frank's attention down the table, and Mercury was flirting with Remus. Sirius was occupied with his disgusting eating habits, as was Peter. I nibbled here and there, not feeling quite hungry. It's weird I was starving a minute ago. I just completely lost my appetite for no reason. How peculiar.

The feast was now over. I turned to Lily who was an inch away from James' face. "Hey Lils! Tryin' to get a kiss are we? I'm sure you could just ask." She turned to face me looking livid. I just smiled at her. And I knew for a fact that even that look made James flinch. Lily, forgetting her wand tried to get me. You'd think she'd know better by now. Five seconds before she got to me I side-stepped and then twirled to catch her when she fell. "Lily we've been over this. You. Can. Not. Catch. Me. No one has caught me since first year, and you know exactly the reason to. You should understand the most." She pursed her lips and looked down. "Thank you now proceed with your James' lips Lily's lips centimeter away game. Have fun. Remember to breath when you need air." Lily scowled at me and stormed from the hall. I watched her go knowing her act. I felt James beside me.

"Y'know James she really does like you. She's just too bloody proud to admit it."

"Yeah I know," he sighed. "Y'know Sirius really does like you, too."

"Why would you say anything like that," I replied to quickly.

"Well because I know you. I know all my Quidditch players. And because he likes to talk about you even though he wont admit it." He smiled at me and I knew he was trying to decide if the conversation was over.

"Go on after her. Just don't try to kiss her today. Tomorrow sit next to me in Professor Binns class, I'll help you with her. Kay?"

"Sure thanks. Why are you doing this?"

"You're not the only one who thinks you guys should be together." Before I even finished he was out the doors. I was pretty much last except for a few Slytherins. Shit. Their walking over here. Oh crap its those death-eater wannabe's.

"So mud blood how was your summer? I see you haven't lost any weight." My eyes involuntarily started to water. Avery noticed. "Oh! Have I hit a nerve?" I took a deep breath and stood up straighter.

"Avery on a good day, you wouldn't be half as awesome as me even if you had you're little cronies. Ah, Snivellus. How lovely to see you. Lily will be so chipper that I've spoken to you." I smiled politely and completely fake. "You do realize that if you walk away now no one will have to go to the Hospital Wing." Avery narrowed his eyes.

"You do realize that if you don't shut your trap not even the Hospital Wing can save you." It was my turn to narrow my eyes.

"A lotta talk and no action. And not that I don't love our little chats, but it seems I do have to be on my way." I turned around and right as I knew they would I heard wands being drawn. I twirled back around and cursed those low lifes into jell-o. I heard a whistle of appreciation and just about died of fright. I turned again, I was starting to get dizzy. "God Remus you scared the crap out of me. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing. Just forgot something." I looked around the empty hall.

"What?" I asked knowing he was lying.

"Oh!" not seeming to have thought of somethin. "Umm, well nothing actually. I noticed you hadn't gone back up so I came down to check and see if you were all right."

"Well that's nice of you, Wolfy. But I can take care of myself." He smiled grimly at my name.

"That's not funny."

"Would you like me to call you Moony? Or is that some secret Marauders' thingy?"

"Marauder thingy. Sorry the names reserved."

"'Tis okay dear fellow. I shall live another day. No peasant shall bring harm to thyself, only being a fair maiden."

"Wow, you totally just reminded me of Sirius." I felt my face turn pink a little. He didn't notice and continued. "He talks like that when he plays chess." We were walking back now.

"Well, duh! Who wouldn't? It's all medieval-y. With knights, and queens, and kings, and rooks. I mean rooks are castles for gods sake."

"Yeah definitely reminds me of Sirius. He's kind of mental. I think you are too."

"Well, nothing wrong with bein' mental. In fact I have quite a few illnesses. Let's see. I'm an insomniac. I'm partially bipolar. Butterflies are out to get me 'cause I know there plan to take over the world-"

"Sirius said the same thing last year."

"Well that's probably 'cause he figured it out too. But anyway. And lastly I'm just plain crazy. That my friend is why I don't fit in anywhere." I finished sadly. "Ah, ah, ah, no pity please. Pity is for the lesser people. I am just a realist."

"Okay now I'm scared. The only thing that could make you anymore like Padfoot is if you were a boy."

"That would complicate so many more things than it would explain. You have no idea." He was looking at me strangely. "What?"

"Nothing I just realized you liked Padfoot."

"Wow, and to think. I thought you were smart Remus." He rolled his eyes and then said the password to the Fat Lady.

"Treacle Tart." I was staring straight ahead, which turned out to be a horribly bad idea. For one reason because I wasn't sure of Remus was pitying me at the moment. And for the second reason, coming out of the portrait hole and strait into me was Sirius Black. Before I had a chance to move I was tangled up with Sirius. Sirius was on top of me and had either hands on the sides of my head. He was looking down at my deep red face.

"So McCarty fancy meeting you here," he said cheekily.

"Oh yes! What a coincidence that we both happen to be near myself. Wait does that make sense?" I asked while my brow furrowed.

"Hah! I knew it." I looked over to see a smug Lily.

"Knew what?" I asked cautiously.

"That someone could catch you before you got away."

"This totally doesn't count because I didn't know Sirius was on the other side of the portrait. And two because, because. Well just because. It doesn't count."

"Fine whatever." She mumbled walking away. I rolled my eyes.

"A-hem." I tilted my head backwards exposing my neck to see James standing over me and Sirius. He was wearing that goofy smile he wears when he's thinking about Lily.

"Yes?" Sirius and I asked at the same time. I looked at him at the same time he looked at me. Our eyes met and we started laughing. When we cooled down, like 5 minutes later, James said. "Hey Pads, maybe you should, oh I don't know. Get off McCarty." He blushed. Ok where is a camera. SIRIUS BLACK JUST BLUSHED.

"Sirius did you just blush?" I felt kind of bad for him when Remus asked. Did I mention I hate James. I was perfectly happy with Sirius lying on top of me. It was actually quite comfortable. But alas, he did indeed get up. As James passed I managed to whisper in his ear.

"I hate you. You shall die." He gave small chuckle. After that I didn't feel like going back to the common room. So I went to my favorite place in the world. The Room of Requirement. I was already on the sixth floor so I only had one left to go. I took a secret passageway and was there in three minutes tops. So I was walking up and down the seventh floor corridor thinking where I wanted to be. _Edward's meadow from Twilight. Edward's meadow from Twilight. Edward's meadow from Twilight._ Three times pacing the hall a door appeared. I looked around just to make sure I was alone. When I was absolutely positive no one was there I slipped through the door and closed it quietly. I looked around the room and sighed in content.

I looked around at the trees and I heard the river running in the distance. The grass and flowers blew in a non-existent breeze. In the middle of the almost perfect circle was a stack of books, presumably my favorites. As I walked closer I could see on the top Twilight. I sat down Indian style and examined the tower of ten books or so. There was Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Lock and Key, This Lullaby, and Just Listen. If We Kiss, Sense and Sensibility, The Host, and Thirteen Reasons Why. All of these books I loved but I just didn't feel like reading. It was times like these that I was really glad I charmed my I-pod to work in the magical world. I pulled it out and plugged it into a stereo that had just appeared at my convenience. I put it on shuffle and Check Yes, Juliet came on. **(A/N I love this song.)** I love this song. I laid down and closed my eyes and just listened to the music. I wasn't actually listening it was more of that noise in the background that lulls you into sleep. I knew I was slipping into unconsciousness and only faintly noted the light dimming on the other side of my eyelids.

What seemed like a minute later, I heard a crash and someone mutter "dammit."

"Hey Prongs, why is it so dark in here?" Oh shit. I knew that voice. It was Sirius. That meant the whole Marauder gang. How did they get in here. Oh no. I wanted my dream world. And that must've included Sirius. Shit! I knew that when I opened my eyes the 'sun' would come out and light the whole room. Oh well, rather sooner than later. I opened my eyes and the light was back. "Finally," Sirius sighed. I didn't want to bring attention to myself quite yet so I just laid there staring at the sky. But that could only last so long considering I was in the middle of the whole room. I looked around quickly and noticed the scene had changed. For one I was lying in a bed with baby pink sheets. I realized a second later that this was how I pictured Juliet's bedroom in Romeo and Juliet. That explains how Sirius got in. Sirius equals Romeo. Get it? Some one had noticed me. I could feel their stare on me. But I kept still. Still staring at the sky. Then James started to speak. "Oh Romeo, Romeo. Where art thou Romeo?"

"Potter I know I'm not gorgeous but there is no need to refer to me as the guy in the book."

"Oh, that's not what I meant." He said quickly.

"I know I was kidding. Calm down. You spend way to much time saying wrong things to Lily you don't realize that everyone doesn't explode when someone says something wrong. And if you hadn't noticed Lily says a lot of wrong things when she's around you."

"Oh? Like what?"

"Well, she completely and utterly lies when she yells that she hates you. And that is wrong." I smiled at him, sitting up now. I didn't feel like I was in my robes, which was a strange feeling knowing that that was how you came. I looked down and blushed slightly noticing I was in some skimpy pyjamas my mother had bought me. I looked around for a dressing gown and one popped up next to Sirius on the wardrobe's door handle. My mind went into overdrive. I can't lie back down, and I can't ask Sirius to hand it to me. So option three would to be to get up and get it, which would be terribly mortifying. Oh well, Sirius said I was going to pay. But I highly doubt this is what he meant. I was focusing on keeping my face from turning red as I stood up and walked over to the wardrobe. I was biting my bottom lip so hard I was surprised it wasn't bleeding. James was watching me curiously and Remus and Peter had just remembered they forgot something in their dormitory. I didn't dare look at Sirius. I was about to get there but I tripped over something. I think it was a book. Most likely. But that's not the point. The point is that I fell. And I fell into Sirius Black. He was caught unawares and we both toppled over and onto the ground which had conveniently turned back to grass. I gave a frustrated sigh as we came to be in the same position as before by the portrait hole.

Him on top. Again. He was looking at me again. "Is this going to become a regular thing?"

"Last time it was you fault."

"No it wasn't. I wasn't looking you were."

"How would you know if I was looking or not? You just said you weren't looking."

"Oh. Yeah. Maybe I was looking."

"Then why didn't you stop walking?"

"It doesn't matter. The question is why did you just tackle me?"

"I did no such thing I tripped. And that is so not the question. The question is why did it take so long for you to get off last time?"

"No the question is why the hell are we in the middle of the forest?"

"The answer to your wrong question is because that's where I want to be."

"But where exactly is that?"

"Well it's a scene from a book. A really, really good book with lots of action and stuff."

"Can I see?"

"Sure but, this leads me back to another question. Why is it taking so long to get off of me?"

"Because I was having a conversation with you." I rolled my eyes as he got up. He offered me his hand but I shook my head. I flipped over onto my stomach and sat on my knees. I crawled over to the book I tripped on, and sure enough it was Twilight. I sat Indian style again and flipped through until I found the passage about the meadow. I handed it to Sirius and told him to keep reading after, figuring he'd get bored before he got to the kiss scene. I put on my night gown and walked over and sat in a chair that I hadn't noticed before. James was sitting on the ground with an amused expression.

"So James what brings you to this neck of the woods." I smiled at my little joke.

"Oh nothing much. Just out for a night stroll. I just figured out something though, and I find it highly amusing."

"Oh? And what might that be?" He looked over at Sirius, who was enthralled in the book.

"That Sirius was the only one who could get in. And that room just happened to be Juliet's bedroom."

"And how do you figure that's what it was?"

"Because…"

"Yes?"

"Because when you figured out where you were a muggle song started playing and the words sorta gave it away." He saw my smile waver.

"How do you even know about Romeo and Juliet?"

"Lily stalker, remember?"

"Oh right. Well then let me just say this. The book Sirius is reading is her new favorite. And all guys could take a leaf out of Edward's book and act more gentlemanly. Just read it and act a little more like the main guy character and I can guarantee that Lily will be yours within the year. And if you still need help come to me. And don't question it. Who do you think set up Alice and Frank? Or who is already in work on setting up Remus and Silver. You and Lily are my long term project. It's taking longer than I thought but I'm breaking her down." He looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "Oh you poor thing. You haven't even noticed. She hasn't been yelling ruthlessly at you which is a new record. She even sat with you at the feast." He looked utterly surprised. "She didn't even back away tonight at dinner when you were and inch from her face." He contemplated this and a smile spread across his face. Just as he was about to say something Sirius gasped and dropped the book.

"You're reading porn. You are reading frickin' porn."

"I am not. Why would you say that?" I asked indignantly.

"He, and, she. And kiss. Hot. Heavy. Attack."

"Oh your poor little innocent mind got to the kiss."

"I have anything but an innocent mind."

I felt my eyebrows rise. "You gasped and dropped the book," I said in a matter of fact tone. He tried to think of something to say but came up blank. I smiled sweetly at him. I heard laughter from behind me. I turned my head to see who it was. Bad idea. Crick. I had a sharp intake of breath and stood up to bend over. "Stupid cricks." I looked up to see Remus and Peter. Remus smiled at me. "I've never seen Padsy over there at a loss for words."

"I was not at a loss for words. I just had nothing to say."

I turned to him. "So explain why you kept opening your mouth like a gaping fish."

He opened his mouth then closed it again. "Got nothing to say again?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. Now I know you're all thinking, this is not how I should handle my little crush on him. But well it's the way I deal. I get defensive and smart arsed. This is what happens when your family shuns you for being a witch. That and eating away my feelings. Maybe that's why I am fat. I never thought about it that way. I should think about that. Oh well. Later. "Whatever. Be a fish as long as you want I am going." My robes just happen to appear on my body as I said this. I smiled at them. "Gotta love magic. Oh well see you in History of magic James. See you Remus. Peter. Fishy." I said giving them each a nod as I left the room of requirement.

On my way back to Gryffindor common room, I started thinking about my eating revelation. I really had no reason for eating. I mean yes I have been shunned, but that happened way before the letter. The letter just made it simpler. That's why I stayed with Lily most of the summer. Her parents absolutely adored me. Who wouldn't I rock. And might I say for a fat person I have a lot of confidence. Which I find completely strange. But now I've strayed from the subject which is food. I've decided to quit. Eating that is. And no I don't mean completely, I just mean eat less. Like I'll have a little here and there. That seems like a good idea.

I don't remember how I ended up in the common room. But here I am staring at the dying embers of the fire. Thinking. It's never good when I think. Because then I realize I'm alone and then I think about how I'll always be alone. And then I become the crazy cat lady who thinks she can do magic. And then I die and then all my cats have no where to go because I don't know anyone. So all my cats will die. And then no one will remember me. I hadn't realized traitor tears had spilled over my eyes. But sure enough there were tears on my cheeks. I heard the portrait hole open. I looked the other way expecting the Marauders. But the Marauders were louder than whoever had just came in. I looked around and saw Mercury walking up the stairs to the girls dormitory. Now I'm not conceited or anything but she just walked by her best friend without even noticing her. I didn't want to start sobbing here that would to questions. Questions I didn't want to answer. So I tore out of there with a tired and angry Fat Lady yelling at me about curfew. I ran and ran and ran. It felt good having my hair flying around my face. I ran until I was at the entrance of the school. I opened one of the double doors slightly to squeeze out into the rain. I love the rain. It makes me invisible. No one can see me through the pouring rain. I'm walking over to the beech tree by the lake when the clouds move. The moon is in a circle of clear. Making everything visible through the rain. I look around hoping the clouds would move again.

**Abrupt stop in your face people. I just thought it was going on way to long. So I stopped. Just the chapter I mean. Now I need to say this now: I will only post a new chapter once the chapter after that is typed and finished. So be patient if it takes a while. Its like book debus you have to wait even though they keep advertising. Sneak peak for those who cant wait. Ready? *looks around making sure vicinity is clear* *whispers* "I cant tell you" **

**Oh my god the funniest thing happened today. So here I am sitting in History and I need a pen. So I turn around and ask this guy named Austen (no I do not like him) and he gives me a frickin awesome pen. It's pink. So I turn to my friend Nicki and I'm like this is frickin awesome its pink. Here's the whole convo.**

"**Hey Austen can I borrow a pen?"**

"**Sure" he hands me the frickin awesome pen.**

**I turn to Nicki. "Oh. My. God. It's pink."**

**She says slowly like I am retarded. "Yes. It is."**

**I wrote with. "OHMYGOD!!!" My teacher got mad. I turned back to Nicki. "the ink is pink." She raises her eyebrows. And im all like grr. But that's it.**

**Courtney **


	3. Chapter 3

**Woo Chapter 3 how exciting. DISCLAIMER Grr**

**Convo time. So I was in Journalism (editor in chief) and I needed to change some people around.**

"**Hey Emily(Co editor in chief) we need one more person on the fun page."**

"**Kay, who do u want to move?"**

"**Well either someone from features or academics."**

"**Ok lets look"**

**Well apparently some people heard us. **

"**Hey can I go to the fun page?"**

"**No"**

"**Can I?"**

"**You and Cristian? No way." So it went on like that for a while. Then I exploded causing a very angry Mr. Chopp. "WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO THINK NO NONE OF YOU CAN HAVE THE JOB IT IS NOW MINE." Sometimes people can be so dense. So I ended up giving it to the person who bothered me the least. I got a head ache.**

**On with the show then?**

**Also for those of you who are continuing reading this I changed a name it is now Silver Mercury not Mercury Silver. Its just better this way.**

Previous Chapter

I looked around and saw Mercury walking up the stairs to the girls dormitory. Now I'm not conceited or anything but she just walked by her best friend without even noticing her. I didn't want to start sobbing here that would lead to questions. Questions I didn't want to answer. So I tore out of there with a tired and angry Fat Lady yelling at me about curfew. I ran and ran and ran. It felt good having my hair flying around my face. I ran until I was at the entrance of the school. I opened one of the double doors slightly to squeeze out into the rain. I love the rain. It makes me invisible. No one can see me through the pouring rain. I'm walking over to the beech tree by the lake when the clouds move. The moon is in a circle of clear. Making everything visible through the rain. I look around hoping the clouds would move again.

Luck was not on my side as the clouds didn't move. And to make matters worse I just realized that the full moon was going to be soon so I couldn't talk to Remus who was always really nice. Sigh. I sat down underneath the 'Marauders' tree. I always liked this spot you could see the lake perfectly. And on the other side of the lake there was a huge black dog/bear thing. It had it's head cocked to the side watching me. With his head like that he kind of lost the scary factor. I smiled back at the dog thinking it was cute. What I didn't expect was that the dog would jump into the lake and swim strait for me. I looked at it with my eyebrows raised and eyes wide. Once he got out of the water he walked over to me and shook the water off.

"Eww!" I squealed as I got the dog water on me. I looked at him, "That was disgusting." I have this problem about talking to animals. I know they wont talk back but that's the thing. They can only listen or walk away. Usually its listen. "Why did you do that? Was there any point in doing that? Don't think so. And you just made my day even worse." He cocked his head to the side again, looking curious. "You wanna know? Well fine. First Sirius Black comes into my, MY, train compartment. And I do my little stress game. Making myself look like a marauder myself which is why Lily is always so easy. Because she's allowed to laugh at me with her pride still intact, but if she were to laugh at James or Sirius she would lose her pride, or somthin'. That's what she told me anyway. And then we end up sitting with them at the feast and I don't eat a single thing and right now I am really hungry. But whatever. So after everyone leaves I'm left behind like usual and the Slytherins close in. Remus suddenly appears and is all like I left something and the whole hall is completely empty except for the tables. So we walk back and right as I'm about to go through the portrait hole Sirius Black and I crash into each other, not that I minded, but then James had to point out the obvious and Sirius got off me." I sighed. "So then I went into the Room of Requirement. I kind of fell asleep, and when I woke up I was in Juliet's room from Romeo and Juliet. So Sirius is the only one who could get in and then James figured it out. I think I'm gonna start calling him Potter, 'cause he is so annoying." The dog gave a bark that sounded like a laugh. I'm so losing my sanity. "Well anyway then Sirius accuses me of reading porn because he read a kissing scene in a novel I expected him to get bored with before he got there. And before that I ran into him trying to get my dressing gown to cover the skimpy little pyjamas my mum had gotten me. I went back to Gryffindor common room. And by that time everybody had gone to bed so I was sitting in the common room and Mercury walked in. And Quicksilver just walked by me not even noticing me. So now here we are both wet and me hungry. And by the looks of it so are you. You poor little baby you must get so lonely being all alone out here." I leaned down in front of him and started scratching behind his ear. His head leaned into my hand. I was thinking he needed a name. "Y'know what big guy? You need a name." I looked over the dogs big body and once I saw his feet I stopped. "What is with your feet there all padded with fur? Ooh, I got it. Padsy." He looked-if it was possible- quite content with that name. And even if he wasn't it was his name now. "Ok so Padsy from now on you shall be my friend and when I see you we shall have quick chat and catch up like good ole pals. Tis quite an idea I know. Therefore it shall remain mine you silly little mutt." I stood up and started to walk away. I heard little patters of feet behind me. I looked around and saw Padsy following me. "What? Love me too much to leave? Come on I'll come back tomorrow to see if I can find you." He looked on either side of me and then bolted, grazing my right side. I whirled around and saw the dog burst into the castle. Shite. Dogs aren't allowed in Hogwarts. I ran after it. I had turned my third corner heading towards the stairs when who should I run into but Sirius Black. This time though I had been able to not topple over and fall. I skidded to halt and tried to side-step him. It worked perfectly before he grabbed my wrist. "Black don't man handle me."

"Where you rushing off to, love?" he asked in that cocky voice that I liked.

"I met this really cute dog and he had ran in here and dogs aren't allowed inside the castle. Not that this isn't lovely almost running into you for a third time but I have to go find him."

"Y'know I saw a dog go passed here."

"Really? Which way did he go?"

"Umm, I don't know."

"Wow loads of help." I said sarcastically. I had noticed that he still was holding my wrist. I didn't say anything though. I looked up and saw Mrs. Norris turn round the corner to glare at us. "Shite. Black come here." I was the one grabbing his wrist and shoving him into a broom cupboard.

"Well now, McCarty, your not really my type."

"Yeah, I know, whatever. Just shut up Filch is coming." He tried to talk again so I covered his mouth with my hand. "Shh." I told him putting a finger to my lips. He rolled his eyes and then I heard Filch's shuffling feet and murmuring. I sighed this was my least favorite part about sneaking out passed curfew. The shuffling continued passed the door and then faded. I was listening hard to make sure when Sirius licked my hand. "Eww!" I squealed for the second time that night. I looked him strait in the eye. "That was disgusting." He cocked his head to the side. Whoa major déjà vu. I blinked rapidly trying to get that feeling out of my head. He stared at me amused. I huffed and left the closet. He followed. I didn't need to look, I just knew. I could feel his presence. I was walking up the staircase when I fell into one of the fake steps and the stairs started moving at the same time. I groaned and heard Sirius just about fall over from laughing. It was then that I saw a rat. And I don't mean a teeny weeny mouse, it was a full on rat. I am terrified of rats. I sprung out of that step with abnormal speed and ran behind Sirius screaming. Sirius was looking at me shocked. I pointed at it with a shaking finger. "K-kill I-it." I ordered him shakily. He was staring at the rat and he shook his head smiling. I was so freaking angry now. I see why Lily always yelled at James he learned all of it from Sirius. I screamed frustrated and stalked off the other way. I didn't know where I was going until I reached the picture of the fruit bowl. I had my hand outstretched to tickle the pear, then realizing what I was doing dropped my hand.

Stupid emotional eating. I wheeled around and sprinted to the portrait hole and making sure to dodge all the fake steps. I went in as quietly as possible coming in on hearing voices.

"I swear mate I hate feeling like this." It was James.

"I know but come on Courtney said she had something to help you with."

"I guess. I just hope it works."

I stepped out into the light. "Don't worry it will," I said smiling at him.

"I swear you could be like a fifth Marauder if you weren't a girl. Your damn sneaky and troublesome."

"Aww, I'm touched James. Coming from the group leader himself. Back to the Lily problem though, don't worry I am the perfect matchmaker with no match. It is time to work some off my magic and for you to grow some balls." Sirius snorted. I glared at him remembering what happened. "As for you." I walked up to him and spoke to him evenly and calmly, which I find much scarier than yelling. "Go. To. Bloody. Hell." I walked passed him and up to my dorm shared with my girlfriends.

**Back in the common room as Sirius. (I know I said I wouldn't but this is important)**

I stared after her internally groaning as her hips swayed. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. "She's going to kill me."

"In which way? The 'I'm going to kill myself and its her fault' kind or the 'oh my god there's a gorgeous witch coming after me with murder in her eyes' way?"

"First if she doesn't get to me before." James nodded mulling it over. And then abruptly he smiled.

"Well, mate, she just said she was the matchless matchmaker so you've still got a chance. And I do believe she is still on the Quidditch team. So you can always woo her there."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I smiled remembering being Padfoot.

"What?" James asked about my smile.

"Well earlier, I was roaming around as Pads and she found me. She named me Padsy 'cause of my feet, and then we had a little chat. She mentioned how she was going to start calling you Potter because of how annoying you were. Then she shoved me in a broom cupboard and told me to be quiet because Filch was coming. When I didn't she put her hand on my mouth and when he was gone I licked it-"

"You're disgusting." James muttered as I ignored that.

"- and she freaked out. It was rather funny considering we were in a small enclosed area. She jumped and I got a little rub up from her lovely attributes. And then she fell in a stair and saw Wormtail and freaked again except this time she hid behind me. When I didn't kill him she ran away. It was really funny to see. Miss-I'm-not-afraid-of-the-huge-dog-but-of-a-little-rat."

**Third Person**

What Sirius Black didn't know was that a certain brunette was in fact on the girls staircase listen quite thoroughly. What Courtney McCarty didn't know was that in fact James did know where she was. What James Potter didn't know was that Courtney didn't care and that a certain Lily Evans was hidden by the window. What Lily didn't know was that a Mister Remus Lupin could see her, over his book on the other side of the room, smile. What Remus didn't know was that a Miss Mercury Silver was on the boys staircase watching him watch Lily with a slight frown gracing her lips. What Mercury didn't know nor care about was that Peter Pettigrew was peeking out of the boys dormitory seeing everyone with an amused expression on his face.

**I personally thought that the third person thingy was rather funny. Everyone's watching someone without anyone knowing someone was watching them.**

**LOL**

**If people review I have more motivation to let you guys have sneak peaks and faster updates but I haven't gotten but 1 review.**

**Courtney**


	4. Chapter 4

**I think I broke my own rules but I cant talk right now I had a sudden burst of inspiration that I cannot lose.**

The next morning I woke up groggy because classes started today. I had defense first with Lily, Quicksilver, and Alice. Unfortunately so did the Marauders. Oh well, better dealt with later. To the Great Hall. Oh wait no one's up. "TO THE GREAT HALL!!!" That worked.

"Shut up you overly cheerful person. You need to die."

"Seconded."

"Oh shut up and get up. You need food and then to go to classes." An all around groan went around the room. "You guys suck. You know that? Whatever I'll go down myself." So right now I'm walking down the girls stairs where I can see three out of the four Marauders. I jumped the last three stairs and made a noise that seemed a lot louder than normal. I looked up from my feet confused. The Marauders minus one, Sirius, looked like they were holding back laughter. "What's so funny?" James pointed to the boy's stairs. I looked over to see Sirius in the same position I was in. Where your feet are planted in this weird position so you don't fall. And where your looking to a certain side instead of being strait. I cracked a smile while Sirius looked over himself thinking it was him why they were laughing. Sometimes he can be so stupid.

"We jumped at the same time you git." I informed him. His mouth made an 'o' with realization.

He looked at them. "You guys are really lowering your standards about what's funny."

"I must agree with Sirius here. That was just coincidence and you guys can barely contain yourselves." I shook my head in mock disappointment. "I expected better from the famed Marauders."

"Yeah, well think what you wanna think. You weren't the ones who saw it. I mean you guys did it at exactly the same time. Did you not hear the noise you guys made?"

"James you make it sound like we just did something dirty. I for one am shocked that you would think I would do that without getting at least a glass of firewhiskey." He smirked at me. I'm terrified. Note the sarcasm. "Oh well you and your dirtiness can stay here but I am kind of hungry. So off I go to…THE GREAT HALL!" I said pointing in the direction of the portrait hole. I then proceeded to skip, yes skip its fun, to the portrait. I skipped halfway to the Great Hall then got bored. I stopped skipping and walked singing barely above a whisper. It was one of my own songs. **(A/N now I actually wrote this so please don't take the lyrics even though I know they suck)**

Always surrounded by people but always alone

Never seeking the truth and stumbling over it in my path

(Chorus)

Finding my way out

Hoping to find something to change me

And putting together clues

Open my eyes to see the light but always in the dark

Wishing to find my way and knowing it's straight ahead

Surrounded by darkness but searching for the light

Looking for the light ahead

Chorus

Seeing your silhouette in the light

Having hope to see a brighter side

Knowing happiness is around the corner

I'm out of the darkness but blinded by the light instead

I found my way out

I found something that changed me

And the all clues add up to you

"YOU KNOW, YOUR VOICE CARRIES IN THE HALL?" I whipped around eyes wide. I saw all four Marauders. "Shit." I whispered.

"Did you not here me when I told you about the voices carrying?" I blushed. I can't deal with this. I have no dirt on them I can't embarrass them. That means it's me, myself, and I. I need help. Where the hell are your friends when you need to embarrass them? Them and their lazy arses.

I swallowed. "Yes I heard you." I snapped. Second defense. Get bitchy. I need to get out of here. I spun around and walked away. No one besides Lily, Q-sy, and Alice know that I can sing. The things that are biologically related to me also know but they hardly count. No one can know. The Marauders are going to tell. I just know it. Once they know something they can't keep it to themselves. No one in Hogwarts can. It's like a gold mine of information on anyone. Rumors upon rumors, some true some not. Like that one about McGonagall and Dumbledore. Totally fake although there is some tension between Ms. Pince and Filch. But that is totally besides the point. I don't even know what my point is. Oh well I need food.

I sat down where we normally sit but none of them are here. So called friends. What are they doing when you need them? Sleeping most likely. They suck that way, when they sleep. Have you ever noticed how weird scrambled eggs are? I mean their all stuck together but they still fall apart when they're forced. It's kind of like friends. They stay as long as they want until some bigger force comes and take them away. My point on eggs are that they are weird and shouldn't have so many ways to cook them. Bacons alright. So is toast and muffins. Muffins are awesome. Someone is near my shoulder, my left shoulder to be exact. I know its weird that I know that but I can like feel when someone is near me. It really helps when someone tries to hurt you. "Take three steps back or be decapitated by my fork." I was completely serious.

"Whoa. I just wanted to know why muffins rock." It was Remus.

"How the hell would I know?"

"Well you did spell it with you eggs after spelling weird. So that either means weird muffins rock or something else."

"It means that eggs are weird 'cause they're like friends. And muffins just rock, there is no reasoning. They just are." He is now sitting next to me much to my dismay.

"Would you car to elaborate on the friendship eggs?"

"Not really but I will. You see scrambled eggs are like friends. They stay as long as they want until some bigger force comes and take them away. My point on eggs are that they are weird and shouldn't have so many ways to cook them. Then I started thinking that bacon and muffins are alright. And how muffins rock. It really makes no sense. Do we need to bring up the fact that I am mentally unstable again? Besides why does it matter? Why are you even over here?"

"Well you looked lonely."

"So you took it upon yourself to make sure I was alright, right?"

"How'd you guess?" he asked smiling impishly.

"Same excuse you used yesterday after the feast. You might want to think up some more."

"Probably. So how's Mercury?" I rolled my eyes at his tactic.

"Well, Q-sy is having random sex with random Slytherins." After seeing the look on his face I let him in on the joke. "Merlin Remus, I was kidding. She's waiting for a certain werewolf to ask her out. And might I add she's been waiting as long as James has for Lily. So find some Gryffindor courage and ask her. Y'know you want to." I elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

"I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Ask away my friend. I may just have an answer."

"Why are you the matchless matchmaker as Lily once referred to you as?"

"Wow Remus are you that dense? It. Is. Because. I. Have. No. Boyfriend."

"I realize that I meant why don't you?"

"Have a boyfriend?" He nodded. "I'll make you a bet. You find me one decent guy that I like by the end of the year that actually wants to date me and I'll give you 10 galleons."

He smirked. "Done." He got up to leave.

"Wait what happens if you lose?"

"You get to keep your ten galleons."

"Wow how grateful of you." I replied sarcastically.

"I try my best. Oh and you might want to come with me. It seems as if your scrambled eggs are now sitting with mine."

"Funny." I said dryly. I looked down the table and sure enough there they were. How nice of them to come and find me. Who cares I already ate I'll just go. I walk down swiftly to the doors. I had to pass them though. As I do, Q-sy calls, "Oh hey Courtney, I didn't know you were in here. I didn't see you." I flinched at her voice. Of course she didn't see me, not much to see. It's obvious my scrambled eggs found their bigger force. I walked by completely ignoring them. I needed to get to DADA before my breakdown. I can just tell this is going to be a great year by the way it started. Note the sarcasm.

**In DADA**

"All right class. Settle down. I have a treat for you today." I heard Sirius grumble something about sweets. "I know it was covered in third year but I thought it would be good review for N.E.. We are dealing with a bogart today." I held in the groan that wanted to so desperately escape my mouth. My 'fear' isn't one I like to broadcast. "If you could all form a circle we can begin." I walked into the circle without really thinking about. There was no way around it I was going to have to do this. The professor had already let the bogart out. I was pretty sure I looked like death right then. It turned to Sirius and transformed into three people lying motionless on the ground. I didn't really register who it was because when he finished the bogart turned to me.

I stood there for a minute and shut my eyes trying to prolong the moment when it started. I snapped open my eyes when it become deathly silent. No one was here. Nothing was here. It was all gone it was just white. I couldn't find anything or anyone. I was left behind. Alone.

**Sirius' point of view. Oh shut up I know I said it would be in my point of view but I couldn't even keep that promise in chapter 2.**

Courtney looked like a deer stuck in wand light. She was just staring. Nothing even happened it was just like normal. It was like the bogart disappeared. If I didn't know better that's what I would've thought. But I knew better. And plus Courtney's eyes just doubled in size. She was looking around frantically fighting tears. I could see them in her eyes, making them kind of shine. We were all just waiting when it happened. Courtney shut her eyes then opened them a few seconds later, and let out a blood-curdling scream. No one moved we were all tied down in anticipation after all nothing had happened. The professor was staring wide eyed at her. We all heard Evans' voice ring loudly through the room. Even though her lips were shut with fear for her friend. "MERLIN, COURTNEY. WHY DO YOU FOLLOW US AROUND. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE. JUST GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM. GO BACK TO YOUR MUGGLE FAMILY. OH WAIT! YOU CAN'T. THEY DON'T WANT YOU EITHER, DO THEY?" She was shaking her head as an answer of no. Then it was Alice's voice. "I COMPLETELY AGREE LILY. THERE IS NO POINT FOR YOU TO EVEN BE HERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US? WE CANT GIVE YOU ANYTHING, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE NOTHING." She was now nodding. Could she actually think that. Mercury's voice. Her best friend. "YOU KNOW WHAT? IT WAS A FUN LITTLE GAME IN FIRST YEAR WHEN YOU THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS. WE KNEW THAT YOU WOULDN'T FIT IN. YOU'RE FAT AND UGLY AND YOU HAVE NO REASON TO BE HERE. YOU WOULDN'T FIT IN ANYWHERE. NO ONE WANTS YOU. YOUR VERY PRESENCE REPULSES ANYONE WITHIN A TEN FEET RADIUS. YOU SHOULD JUST GO DIE OR SOMETHING. YOU'D BE WORTH MORE THAT WAY." At this the tears leaked over. She was trying to be brave we could all see the strain she was causing herself. Her jaw muscles were clenched and her eyes were shut tight. I thought it was over when one final voice rang out. It wasn't one I recognized. By the looks of her friends they did. "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT? GO BACK TO YOUR BLOODY FREAK SCHOOL BEFORE I DO SOMETHING THAT NO ONE IN THIS FAMILY WILL REGRET." Her eyes shot open. You could see the fear in them. Then someone appeared. It was a girl who looked a little older than Courtney and a lot like her too. She was just a little shorter. I took it to be Courtney's sister. The voice that was ringing now came to a deathly quiet pitch from her sister's mouth. She was talking as she walked up to Courtney. Courtney's breathing was coming in small little gasps. Her sister walked up to her and slapped her with as much force as I use to hit a bludger. She didn't even flinch. That annoyed the girl, to whom I will no longer refer to as Courtney's sister. "You shouldn't have ever been born. But don't worry, I'll make sure to right the mistake that was made when you were born." IT, as I now call the thing attacking the innocent girl I like, grabbed her wrist and wrenched it behind her back making my beloved scream in pain. IT was now dragging Courtney around by the arm. "Now you can choose. Do you want the river out back or the roof?" She didn't answer. Another cry in pain as her arm got pulled harder. "I said. River or roof?"

"River. River. River." She cried. IT smiled wickedly. IT looked like it had one the greatest honor of the whole world. No one did anything. No one could move from the shock of what I'm sure actually happened and is now replaying itself.

"Now I don't think Mum'll mind. But Dad's another story. He may care just enough to sit me in timeout for this." She smiled sickly at my cowering Courtney. Wait when did she become mine? When you realized you liked her. Oh yeah. My family looked as though I was their favorite child compared to this.

"MUM! DAD! HELP!" She rasped. More voices were heard now. Like before they rang for everyone to here.

"Hmm, dear, I think Courtney's in trouble." That must've been her mum.

"It does appear so doesn't it. Oh well, its better this way. Although Devine can't just get away with this. She gets no dessert tonight." Are they completely nuts? Their daughter is going to die!

"It appears no one wants you around so to the water you go." Devine, hardly the name she deserved, smiled sweetly. Courtney wasn't breathing. She was lying on the floor not breathing. It looked as though she were trying but couldn't. I knew why. Water was part of her fear. I guess that's why she wont go near the lake. The professor finally saw fit to intercede. Devine disappeared. Courtney completely oblivious to the fact she was in a full classroom and not in the forest, rolled to the left and took in what sounded like a horribly long breath. She was crouched in a fetal position rocking back in forth sobbing and chanting. "No where to go. No where to go. No one wants me. Lily. No. Alice. No. Mercury. No. No where to go. No where to go. No where to go. No where to go. No where to go. Alone. Alone. Alone. Where is all the color. No color? White is a stupid color where is all the fucking color!" She needed to get to the hospital wing. And fast. I sprinted to her and scooped her up and ran to the door yelling over my shoulder, "HOSPITAL WING!" I ran all the way there with her in my arms crying in my shoulder and muttering incoherent thoughts. I burst in the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey rushed out of her office.

"Put her over there," she gestured to the bed I was closest to. "What happened to her?"

"Bogart." I managed to spit out between gasps.

"What's her name?"

"Courtney McCarty. Seventh year, Gryffindor." I had now fully regained my breath. Comprehension flickered on Pomfrey's face. It had happened before. A few things clicked with my new information. 1) I now understood the thing about being caught from the feast, 2) that insignificant sigh in the closet when I told her she wasn't my type seemed a lot more significant, and 3) I now also understood why she always goes to defense mechanism right away before any explanation. Maybe Moony was right. Maybe she is just like me in girl form. As I was pondering these new found discoveries the door opened with a loud bang. Lily, Alice, and Q-sy walked in looking rather frightened. Behind them were Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail. I highly doubt anyone has seen me more serious than I am now, no pun intended.

Mercury turned to the four of us. "You guys can't treat her any differently. Y-you just can't. That always makes it so much worse than it is for her. It took a whole week in third year for everyone to forget about it. She's tough but she can only last so long. Please just don't pity her. She hates it. Just try for her sake." We all nodded. They girls looked close to tears. Remus walked over to Silver and pulled her into a chair where she started crying. James tried to calm Lily down. Key word: tried. She ended up worse than she started. Alice said she had to leave. Probably to go find Frank. Even before Pomfrey came back out Courtney sat up strait. She looked around. "I can't be here." She stated simply before bolting. Lily's eyes went wide and she finally broke down. What shocked me more was that James wasn't hurt comforting her. Silver tried to get up to go after her but Remus told her to just let her be.

"Are you guys crazy? Go after her!" I ordered in frustration. "Are you seriously going to let her go like that? She just had a mental breakdown!"

"Sirius that is so far from a mental breakdown. Courtney in a breakdown is when she goes catatonic." Lily said soothingly.

"Why the hell would she even need to go catatonic if she wasn't close to it in the first place?" I stormed out of the Hospital Wing. Just as I got a good way away from the Wing I blanched. Where would she go? Where do girls go after something happens?

I don't even know what class she has next. Speaking of class I have one like right now.

**Back to my point of view. Woohoo.**

I sat up ring-rod strait and muttered, "I can't be here." And then I do what I do best. I run. I run in pointless directions and end up going no where. I need to get to Potions. So this is good and bad. I'm close to the potions classroom, but there is a group of death-eater wannabes coming towards me with awful sneers. Shite. Ok think think. Where's my wand? Front pocket, ok. I think I'm good. Walk forward. Let no signs of weakness show. Left. Right. Left. Right. Damn damn damn. The keep walking towards me as well. Damndamndamnshittingmotherfucker. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Damn I just stumbled a bit. Crap. Poker face, where are you? Why do these things always happen to me. I get the crap family, the sneering Slytherins, the awful looks. This is why I don't think there is a higher power. If there were you'd think he'd show some mercy. You'd think he'd have tortured me enough and see fit to either make up for it or I don't know, kill me. Oh have I done what I think I did. I just walked through a group of Slytherins and made it out alive. Life is finally a little nice to me. Wait. What was that?

Damn.

That was the distinct swish of wand on robe contact. I pull mine out but I hear before I can do anything. To slow. "Avada Kedav-"

"Stupefy!" Whoever just saved my life I will be their personal slave. I look up to see Sirius. Never mind, I take it back. No servitude. None whatsoever. Maybe like I don't know a galleon or something. I look him strait in the eye but only one thing runs through my mind as I do. No one wants you. It was like I freakin' broken record player. Over and over again. I force a smile for his sake, but I doubt it goes to my all to expressive eyes. He searches my face like he's looking for something. After a minute he sighs disappointedly. I feel the blood drain from my face and the tears well in my eyes. God I am so stupid. My sister was right. No one does want me. I cast my eyes down and walk the other way slowly. He doesn't try to stop me or say anything. I'll skip potions and then go back to class. But until then, to the Quidditch field.

Flying is so easy. Why can't life be like that. Life is like not pulling out quick enough from a Wronski Feint. Instead of looking elegant, you end up in heap on the ground. I sigh loudly as I fly around in circles. Maybe I should run. Maybe I can lose some weight. Maybe, maybe…shit. Maybe I should just go jump of the Astronomy Tower. Ok that's probably a bad idea. Painful too. So, running it is. I jump off my broom as soon as I reach the ground. From there I pound my way to the left. Going around the circle not really thinking about doing so. After a while I get hot. I let lose my cloak letting it fly off behind me. I faintly hear it flutter to the ground before its behind me. I'm still in my robes on top of my uniform. Soon the heat is to much to bare. I stop for a second breathing heavily. I pull the robes over my head and throw them as far as they go into the field. So now I'm only running in a skirt, a white short sleeve button up (or down if you prefer), and bare feet. I was wearing some shoes with I small heal. And obviously I can't run in those. One lap. Two. Three. I lost count after five getting bored. I heaved a sigh as I stopped, dripping in sweat and flushed. I grab my cloak and robes and run to grab my satchel and make it to class on time. Which I don't. Stupid McGonagall. I'm standing there chest heaving as I try to explain it to her.

"Well Professor-pant- I was practicing-pant- for Quidditch-pant- and lost track-pant- pf time."

"Well flying doesn't take that much strain. Why are you so out of breath?"

"I wasn't flying. I was running the field. And then I ran here from there." I stated as if it were obvious.

"Why exactly were you running?"

"To let some steam out. Flying didn't take enough mind space so I ran."

"How do I know you're not lying?"

Before I could answer Sirius piped up, "I was watching her, professor. Amazing, really. She did 25 laps before I left. And I was here on time." She stared at him.

"Very well Miss McCarty. Detention for being late. I don't care if it was for Quidditch or otherwise. It is unacceptable." My eyebrows rose at that. Everyone knew how much she loved winning the Quidditch cup. Her lips twitched but she quickly recovered and told me to sit down. I went towards the back when someone grabbed my wrist forcing me to twirl and plop down in a chair. I gust of air left my lungs. I turn so I'm facing strait. Without looking at Sirius I say quietly, "Thanks."

"No problem. I woulda done it for anyone."

"I meant for the detention saving."

"Oh, yeah. Well that's reserved for friends."

"Did I really do 25 laps?"

"Yeah, you're pretty fast when you want to be."

"Yeah, I know." I was thinking back to earlier this morning having a feeling Sirius was doing the same thing. I really hope he wont pity me. Pity is the worst feeling a person could possibly receive, next to rejection. Not that I would know what rejection feels like. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. Oh look-y here a note. From a certain Sirius Black.

**Hello Spacehead I was having a conversation with you.**

**Really I hadn't noticed. Are you sure?**

**Positive.**

**Oh. What were we talking about. I clearly have no recollection of this event.**

**Well I**** was saying that you should probably not walk alone because whatever you did to the Slytherins is obviously something that's ticked them off.**

**I would say they're more pissed than ticked. But whatever floats your boat. I don't even know what I did. I have a feeling it's more about blood than anything.**

**That's what I was thinking, **

**But?**

**But they don't treat Evans this bad. **

**So?**

**So, it has to be more than just blood.**

**On the contrary. In fact the only thing I have done is been born with bad blood in both worlds. Ah the sweet truth of reality. What do you say to that Black? Speechless? I thought so.**

**Scoff**

**You felt the need to write that you were scoffing because…**

**To let you know I was scoffing.**

**Ahh. Quite pointless really. But what, pray tell, were you scoffing at. I have pondered it and I find that ponder is a funny word. But that's because I forgot what I was pondering. Damn.**

**Snort**

**Y'know I can hear you. You don't need to tell me that you're snorting.**

**It's more fun that way.**

**Whatever. So what was the point of this? Did we accomplish something?**

**Umm…I don't thi- Wait I have found something. We accomplished that you are stubborn.**

**If you were to ask anyone if I was stubborn the answer would be yes. That was not the point of this. Do tell, exactly, what it was.**

**The point was that James and Lily need to get together.**

I reread the parchment. My eyebrows knitted together. We hadn't mentioned them even once.

**How do you figure that?**

**I don't know. But it's true.**

**Right you are. I actually have a plan that is years in the making. I decided to put it into action seeing as I knew that they were both getting heads.**

**And how would you know such a thing?**

**I have connections. Don't worry it's already in action. Have you noticed how all targeted Slytherin attacks have been to me. **

**That was what we were talking about before!**

**Oh right. So anyway. I might have done something so that Lily can only have Snivillus attack her. So she wont fight back and James will. It's quite brilliant really. But time to leave seeing as class is about to end. So much for taking notes. You can keep this it's highly unlikely that I'll need it.**

With that I got up and set off to the library for my free.


	5. Chapter 5

**I bet everyone is wondering what happened. Me personally, I don't know- I just figured out who it is so never mind. Oh my brain is goooood. So I came back here to write you all I little note. I know I need a beta, but I don't really know what a beta does so if someone would like to explain that to me be my guest. And once I've figured it out I'll let you all know in case you want to be a beta on this or any of my other stories.**

Previously on How I Deal.

With that I got to the door. As I left I practically sprinted down the corridors. I ran almost all the way to the library until I ran into someone. Literally. "Whoa, where's the fire McCarty?"

"Oh, hey James. Sorry gotta run."

"Ok. Before you go there's Quidditch practice tonight."

"Kay, see you in Histo-" I gulped.

"What?"

"Umm…no-nothing. G-gotta go. S-see you later." He looked even more confused than before. Before he could ask again I ran to the door of the library.

My POV

I didn't even know he knew where the library was. I thought he didn't do homework and such. Boy was I wrong. Sirius Black is standing outside the library right now. Personally I hope he turns around and walks away. I now have two choices. Choice 1: stay here until I get kicked out. Choice 2: RUN! I'm pretty sure I'm doing choice two. Wait. Who needs to run? I am strong and independent and I don't need to run. So HA!

He's gone. Thank Merlin. I really am done with running for the day. I think I'm late for History of Magic. Oh well, no more running. I'm already late. I slip in quietly and look for James. He's sitting next to Sirius with Remus on the other side. The desk behind him is empty. I walk over stealthily and only Remus noticed me.

He watched me as I brought the chair over the table and in between him and James. The chair was facing so that the back was to the front and I sat down my legs straddling the chair. And yes I am aware that that does sound dirty.

"So James about the Lily situation-"

"What are we gonna do about it?"

"Well if you let me finish. Thank you." I added when he didn't talk. "Well I noticed that you haven't asked her out yet, which is a good thing. I'm assuming Remus told you to." he nodded and I gave a quick wink to Remus who was in on the plan since fifth year. Talk about a work in progress. "Well keep it up. Become her friend. You can still give her compliments, but just down tone them. Instead of 'you're the prettiest girl on earth' say 'you look nice today, Lily'. Or 'is that shirt new' actually don't do that one."

"Why not?"

"She'll think your staring at her boobs. But anyway… why not tone down the rudeness factor on your pranks. Like instead of changing Snape's hair color, wash it." I said with a malicious smile and I wistful sigh. The three boys were staring at me strangely. "Do you remember that week in fifth year when Snape always wore a hood or something?" I asked with a smile. They all nodded. "I had scourgified his hair and I guess it took a while to re-grease." They were all staring at me funny. "What?"

"Well…" Remus said with a grin. "Sirius tr- umphoo. Uh ah oo ooing?" Sirius has his hand over Remus' mouth for some odd reason. But my brain is slow so maybe it really isn't odd at all.

"As Remus was saying," James continued. "Sirius once tried to do that to Snape, also." my brow furrowed as I tried to remember when.

"I don't remember. What year?"

"Fourth, I believe."

"But I don't think Snape missed a _whole week_ in fourth year. There were every other day type things, but never a whole week." They were all staring at me again. Am I really that strange. I mean, come _on_.

"How would know?"

"Stalk thy enemy to know what thou art up to." I replied as if quoting.

"Well he wasn't out, because Sirius failed miserably at it." A smile formed on my face. I leaned in towards James.

"What happened?"

"NOTHING!" Sirius interrupted while the part of the class that wasn't sleeping looked at him.

"Well obviously nothing happened. I meant what happened that the prank failed?" James and Remus shared a conspiring glance before James pinned Sirius' arms behind his back and Remus put a silencing charm on him. I looked at Remus expectantly.

"Well we had all our stuff ready and it was Sirius' job to set the whole thing in action, but-

_Flashback_

"_Padfoot are you ready?" Remus asked._

"'_Course I am. It was my idea."_

"_Right and all we did was sit by twiddling our thumbs." James mumbled._

"_Too true." Remus and James rolled their eyes at the same time. And mumbled incoherent thoughts. Sirius had his wand pointed directly at Snape's back. He was about to perform the spell when something, or SOMEONE, caught his eye. He turned his head slightly to the left to watch a pretty girl on his Quidditch team. She was his counter part, the other beater. He was mumbling what was supposed to be the spell right as she walked in front of him blocking Snape. His mind was elsewhere as he finished mumbling the "spell". Unfortunately she had stopped to wait for a friend to catch up._

_She was about to walk away when she saw a streak of light heading straight for her friend (Lily). Without even thinking of the consequences she jumped in front of the spell pushing her friend to the ground while she was blown across the room from the unidentified spell. She hit the wall her feet two feet off the ground. She slowly slid to the ground as several people screamed. She stood up sagging against the wall as her friend rushed up to her thanking her over and over again. She was nodding her head absently as she regained her breath. She tried to stand up but doubled over and started breathing heavily. _

_All three marauders left their hiding place and scattered. The girl who was hit slowly straightened up and tentatively took a step, but collapsed from pain. Her friend and her made their way to the Hospital Wing where she stayed for a week._

_End Flashback_

"You gits! That was me you hit. I remember that. I thought it was some Slytherin, and I plunged to my death to protect my good friend Lily. Y'know I wrote a will that night. It was rather extravagant considering half the things I left everybody I didn't own. I left something for you James. And Remus. Sorry Sirius I don't think I have anything you would want." He mumbled something under his breath I didn't catch. "You could've at least told me you did it. I was all jumpy for a week after I got out of the Hospital Wing. I made Lily check for Slytherins before I went down a corridor. She eventually stopped doing it after she got annoyed. And to think I was willing to jump in front of a dangerous curse for her. What shitty repayment." I stopped to take a breath. "YOU IDIOTS YOU COULD'VE HIT LILY!" they were all looking at me strangely. So explained quickly, "That was the year I had started to work on my plan to get Lily to loooooooove James. But anyway back to the point. What you need to do for now is become a friend don't follow her don't talk to her unless she talks to you first or _absolutely necessary_." the whole time he was nodding and saying various okays. "Then you need to stay for Christmas. A week before holidays you need to come find me ok?"

"Ok"

I turned to Remus and motioned him to come closer. "Then we work on you." he rolled his eyes but nodded. I was about to lean back but he whispered something in my ear that made me stop dead.

"Don't forget about our bet." he leaned back chuckling at my expression. My mouth was hanging slightly open.

My eyes narrowed dangerously as my lips pursed. I moved the chair back and hopped over the desk and sat down. I was contemplating what he said and realized I had nothing to worry about, no one was going to agree. Oh shit just thought of something I quickly pulled out a piece of paper and wrote something down.

**You can't pay anyone to go out with me - C**

I magicked it to fly onto Remus' desk. He shook his head slightly and wrote back.

_I wouldn't do that. - R_

**Just setting some rules - C**

The bell blared loudly and I walked out with the rest of the people. I was walking passed a tapestry when a hand shot out and grabbed me, pulling me into the wall. I was squished into a small gap in the wall. Without looking up to see who grabbed me I started squirming and tried to get out. "will you please stop that I'm trying to help," Sirius said with obvious amusement in his voice.

"Oh. Well if I must."

"You must."

"Haha. How and what is this helping?"

"It's helping Lily and James because they have to patrol the corridors."

"Yes, Sirius they do…At night" I said slowly.

"I know."

"Then why are we here now?"

"This is where you have to meet me at 10 oclock."

"Why?"

"To help Lily and James."

"Your not going to tell me what we're going to do are you?"

"Nope."

"Bye then. It was lovely being squished in a hole with you." I said sarcastically.

"I'm sure it was. See you here then?"I smiled sarcastically at him, "Suuuure."

"Oh and wear a skirt." he added smirking.

"What? Why?"

"Just do it."

I rolled my eyes in frustration, "Fine"

**Okay so I'm pretty sure THAT sucked im kinda losing it here like somethings wrong with my brain and im losing creativity so give me ideas and I need coffee.**

**Courtney **


	6. Chapter 6

**It's been like a year so I apologize immensely I should've done more and failed my classes instead.**

**Previously on How I Deal**

"Bye then. It was lovely being squished in a hole with you." I said sarcastically.

"I'm sure it was. See you here then?"

I smiled sarcastically at him, "Suuuure."

"Oh and wear a skirt." he added smirking.

"What? Why?"

"Just do it."

I rolled my eyes in frustration, "Fine"

My POV

It is now 5 minutes before curfew and I am walking down a corridor completely lost. I have absolutely no idea where I'm supposed to meet Sirius. And I did wear a skirt. And it was really weird 'cause I walked down to the common room and like EVERYONE was staring at me. Yes people, I wore a skirt. Get over it. A very short one at that 'cause I couldn't find one that fit me. But anyway, I'm lost. I'm passing a door for what I think is the fifth time when Sirius pops out of a wall.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Being lost?" I asked with a smile. Oh I forgot to mention I'm also wearing 3 inch heals because Silver stole my flats. So Sirius and I are almost the same height.

"Ugh I knew this was going to happen. I knew it would. You're so hopeless."

My eyes narrowed as I glared at him. "Excuse me, but I am not the one who asked me to meet him in a hole in the wall disguised somewhere only desperate couples know of."

"Only because you've never had a boyfriend. And I'm starting to see why!"

Oh! Now he went to far. "Says the most desperate guy in the school! You would date anyone that doesn't make you a cradle robber! You've date over HALF THE SCHOOL!"

"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR BEING WANTED UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE!" I just looked at him desolately. I took a deep breath and pursed my lips. His eyes flashed with something I couldn't make out.

"Well, then," I said in a very quiet voice. He made to move forward with his hand half raised and his mouth open. But in just that second he stopped and moved back. "What did you want?" I asked in that same voice. The one I had never heard come from my mouth before.

He fidgeted for a second before answering. "I want to help get James and Lily together." he whispered.

"Well your doing smashingly." I said harshly.

"I meant I wanted to help you get them together."

"Well as you know I've already assembled my troupes on trustability. And seeing as I don't exactly know you enough to trust you I'm gonna have to say no."

"Can I just tell you my plan?" we had moved closer to each other unconsciously and as I nodded I took a step back. I could feel the cold radiating from the wall behind me. "Well as you may or may not know James and Evans patrol tonight."

"I'm aware." I said stiffly. He nodded.

"Well imagined if they found two of there closest friends snogging?"

"I imagine they'd be quite pissed." I said with the same clipped tone.

"Well yes that was what I was thinking too. That and I was thinking Lily would see James in a new light if he took control of the situation and gave out detentions and whatnot."

"I see where you're going. But my question is how are we going to convince them to do it?"

Sirius' brow furrowed. "Ask who to do what?"

"Remus and Silver to snog, of course." I said in that isn't-it-obvious kind of voice.

"Well I wasn't thinking them."

"You want to kiss Silver?" I asked completely confused. "I don't think her, or Remus for that matter, would like that."

"Of course not." he said completely exasperated. His face was flushed with frustration and his eyebrows knitted together. And his nose was crinkled in irritation. He looked sooo HOT.

I was about to ask who he meant when we heard footsteps. I looked at the ground trying to see if they were coming here or going the opposite way. I figured out that they were coming towards us and not the other way. I was about to tell Sirius we should leave, but I suddenly had the air knocked out of me as I was shoved firmly against the wall. By Sirius. SIRIUS.

I looked at him completely terrified. He wasn't going to- he's not really going- He kissed me. I had Sirius Black shoving me against a wall kissing me. Really well. His lips are so soft. He lightly kissed my lips then leaned back a bit then did it again. And again. And again. Like five times he did that. Then he firmly attached our lips together. His hands, which had been respectfully on my waist, slid down to cup my bum. I gasped and he took advantage of my mouth being open and slid his tongue in.

My eyes shot open at his boldness. His eyes were closed. His eyebrows were still furrowed together but in more of a way to keep concentration that frustration. It was then I realized my hands were running through his hair. I was about to detach myself when he did this fabulous thing with his tongue. And a noise I had never in my life made came from the back of my throat. I lost all thoughts of detaching myself. My hands gripped his head firmly and pulled him closer kissing him back. He groaned. I made Sirius Black groan. ME. My legs were wrapped around his waist and he had moved one of his hands into my hair while one stayed on my bum.

I needed air. Badly. I pulled back slightly and kissed his jaw while I gasped for breath. His head tilted to the side giving me more access. My tongue slipped out of my mouth and I licked up his jaw line to his ear. He groaned again.

Sirius somehow managed to reattach our lips. His tongue was in my mouth and he was doing the most wonderful things and I kept hearing myself make these noises. I was about to lose coherent thought when I heard a small high pitched, "A-hem" from my left. I really wasn't going to ignore it. And I swear I wasn't going to tell them to shove off. I was definitely going to gracefully detach myself from Sirius and face this with my last shred of dignity that was still intact. Really I was. Then I saw it was Lily. And James. They both looked furious. My eyes widened and Sirius let out this weird squeak and dropped me. He DROPPED me. I landed on the cold hard ground and my head banged against the wall and as I groaned in pain no one even made a move to help me. "Oh well that's nice. No need to rush I'm just fine thanks for your concern." I snapped. This opened the floodgates.

"Oh I'm so sorry." Sirius said rushing to help me up.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS-" James started.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING-" Lily interrupted.

"-TO ME. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE-"

"-IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT-"

"-ON THE SAME SIDE AND THEN YOU-"

"-ANYONE COULD'VE SEEN YOU!"

"-HOOK UP WITH SOME TRAMP!" James finished last and the word tramp echoed through the corridor. He had two people glaring at him while I stared at the ground with tears in my eyes. James at least had the decency to look uncomfortable.

Lily was shooting daggers at him and Sirius had his hands curled into fists. I just stood shifting from foot to foot looking at the ground where there seemed to be a spot of something.

"YOU CAN'T JUST-"

"HOW HYPOCRITICAL-"

"Look I didn't mean-" This was all said at the exact time. Lily and Sirius were looking expectantly and James who like me was looking at the ground.

"You made it sound like you and Sirius were being gay together." I said unexpectedly. I was mortified to hear how high pitched I sounded. It showed just how close to tears I really was. "When you said you and him were supposed to be on the same side." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lily relax a little and Sirius unclenched his fists. I could see that James shot me a grateful look that he seemed to think I didn't see. I gave a little sniffle and said to Lily, "Look, Lily, I'm really sorry okay. Can I just have my detention and go?" She looked at me carefully. Her eyes surveying me so thoroughly that I started to fidget with the hem of my sleeve.

She gave a great big sigh. "Saturday at 11'o'clock." I nodded gratefully and turned around and walked away head ducked and feet dragging. As I turned the corner I could hear the yelling starting back up.

**So I would make this longer but I'm really not in the mood 'cause I've had a horrible day I can't go see the Harry potter movie my hair is completely messed up 'cause I did it for the movie then I found out I'm not going so I brushed and now its ruined and my moms making some Mexican shit and I HATE Mexican food and I just sat on my bed crying for like half an hour 'cause I haven't cried in a long time and then these things happening just opened the flood gates and if I kept writing id probably throw myself of the astronomy tower. So I'm sorry nicki you can have the whole next chapter.**

**Courtney**


	7. Chapter 7

**So I know I haven't updated, the reason being I haven't had a computer for about 2 years. Or at least not one that I could upload from. So this is just a memo saying that I will be starting to update again. And I will try to do it regularly. It might take a little bit because I have to reacquaint myself with my own stories and maybe make changes, but it will happen. I promise.**

**Courtney**


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